Startling! Shocking! McCain Replaces Palin

In a shocking move, even for a "maverick" like John McCain, the campaign has replaced vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin. It appears that her performance in the ABC and CBS interviews coupled with recent criticism by conservative commentators has had an impact on the decision. The new nominee, in keeping with McCain's "maverick" image, is a political unknown and is a hoofed mammal known as Bucky Deer. This "news" from the Huffington Post:

The Arizona senator supposedly brushed aside concerns that a startled deer would wilt under the pressure of a televised debate, telling aides, "At least a goddamn deer won't go on about Alaska being close to Russia."
The McCain campaign said today that Sen. McCain's new running mate, Bucky the Red Deer, would not be made available to the press prior to the debate.
"Bucky is very much a work in progress," said McCain campaign manager Rick Davis. "Right now we're working on keeping him from bolting off the stage."
Bucky's opponent in the upcoming debate, Delaware senator Joseph Biden, appeared today to be trying to manage expectations for the high-stakes face-off with his four-legged rival.

At least Bucky will have a good excuse for having that "deer caught in the headlights" look during this Thursday's debate. Also in other news, McCain is sinking in most nationwide polls.